Isolation & Reaching Out

This past week has involved a lot of isolation, self-imposed, I should add. Occasionally, I just want to hide, until the next “season” in life is here. However, it never ever F****** works. I typically feel terrible and emotionally eat and then the downward spiral begins…

This week I have been quite intentional about reaching out to friends and its been grounding (as it always is). After every conversation I wonder why it takes me so long to realize that I need people, I need my tribe…

Its not the same though, we catch up, talk about issues and such, but there is not “hanging” out, there is no walk to the gourmet popsicle shop. And I still have no tribe here in my new hometown, heck, I’d settle for one person to have in-depth conversations with. So, I figured that I need to brainstorm ideas for meeting new people. I had hoped that CPR class would be great to meet someone and I did. We’ve gotten together twice which has been nice. However, I can only take CPR once every couple of years and its an expensive way to meet friends. I digress.

We have been told by several people, that while friendliness is common here, it takes a while to build trust to insert yourself into someone else’s tribe here. I totally get that, its a smart strategy even; it ensures that you don’t accidentally include someone that drives everyone crazy two weeks later… I have certainly made that mistake before.

My question is, why can’t there be formal interviews?! I know, I sound crazy, but we aren’t about to go out drinking to meet people, nor am I the athletic type for us to join some local league. Why can’t there be meet ups for people who just want to meet others. No strings attached?

Two decades ago, the idea that you could go online to find a significant other, let alone a date was unfathomable and taboo. It was a F****** crazy idea for people with loose morals or a death wish. Today, most of us don’t think twice about it. I met my husband online and know other couples who have done the same. Its not the “norm,” but its acceptable because it happens often enough.

So, then why not?! I have heard there is a website with a subscription to meet other people just as friends (no funny business). So why do I pause… why is that taboo sounding to me when I met the most important person in my life that way?! Am I afraid that some crazy will want to be my instant BFF?! Oh yes! Is that the only thing holding me back? Something to ponder for sure…

Here are my Top 5 Ways to Meet People:

  1. Book Club – I have found several, now I just need to reach out & read a book
  2. Go to a “therapy” group that helps adults with abusive childhoods  -I went once, just never went back
  3. Text the two people my friends know that live here and schedule coffee -attempted with one, and play text-tag…
  4. Invite my husband’s co-worker and significant other over for dessert one night
  5. Host a ladies night with the few ladies I have casually met (my hair stylist, CPR girl, etc)

Any other ideas are very welcome as I search for my people, my tribe here in Portland.


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